Hey you. You're the lab rats.

I'm currently experimenting with this whole 'transparency' concept so I am going to tell you the reason I'm writing about 'fitness' is because I see a huge spike in RSS readership the last time I did that. And so I'm going to test that correlation, again. Also I find that people are naturally very social beings, so we're actually very curious about each other, even online!

So here we go - here's my 'fitness talk'.🔍

It all began when I got dumped

Well, not THAT dramatic, but my determination was even stronger after I got dumped. It actually began the day I got back from Vietnam after a ‘leadership training week’ with my colleague at that time, who is now a very popular Social Media influencer and YouTuber (drumrollsssss…. ta-da!) Emi (@stayfitandtravel , thanks Emi!!). One question we were asked was, ‘what is your passion?’ Having no answer to that, I thought to myself, ‘what the fuck? 2x years of living and I can’t even name one passion other than Linguistics?’

Then this whole concept of ‘exercising’ crossed my mind. It was partly because Emi was so crazy (I meant it in a good way :P) into her fitness journey at that time, and partly because I want to look better and improve my self-esteem (which was based on how I looked). I want to take an active role in ‘shaping my appearance’. Since I can’t do anything to my face, how about getting a nicer body?

The day after we landed in HK, I went to the closest gym from office after work, then signed the membership contract. And so it began.

So what happened after I got dumped?

Okay, I know it sounds like those typical motivational things, except it’s not. 🤷I got dumped the first fucking day I landed in Shanghai on a 3-month rotation (thanks dude). Before that, I was pretty much a gymaholic already. I’ve been going to the gym in the morning every day before work.

As you can imagine, the first day I arrived in SH, I immediately googled (sorry hun, there’s no google there, so I baidu-ed) where my office was, so I could find the closest gym nearby. I didn’t even know what China people call a ‘gym’ because searching on Baidu in English is the most ridiculous thing ever. (BTW, it's called 健身房. And #sorrynotsorry, a 港女 like me didn't know that.)

I walked the area only to find a large gym (chain ones) with disgusting sweaty and ugly guys that wasn’t open in the morning hours before work. I freaked out. Honestly, I panicked. For some reason, the manager must be possessed to tell me there was another boutique gym which opens in the morning. I got that sorted.

Then I got dumped that night.

At that point, my self-esteem just dropped to rock bottom.

I wasn’t good enough? Do I look worse than that new girlfriend? (Yes you know those typical shit that you go through after you get dumped.) I tried to hold in tears while running on the treadmill for a few days, only to find myself crying after a workout. Then I slowly got tired of crying.

At the same time I was hitting a plateau in my routines (which was a nightmare), the only way to make me feel better was to think that: the only person I need to compete with is myself.

What began as a self-hypnosis to comfort myself turned into an a-ha moment. What if... this is exactly what life is like? Honestly - stop thinking about how I look compared to other girls - just finish your workout. Slowly… exercising has become my me-time when I didn’t have to think about the breakup. I was extremely upset (of course), but I was disciplined.

What are the not-so-glamorous things that no one talks about?

Thanks for staying with me through the #trashtalking above.

• Working out doesn’t get you out of a depressed state, but it makes you forget things temporarily.

• I still remember the first few days I hid in the empty classroom doing my Blogilates videos. I didn’t even dare wearing anything that exposes inches of flesh other than my face - it was loose T-shirt and weird non-stretchy tights, if you know how much that looks like pyjamas and how non-functional that is.

• I still can’t do a pull-up. I spent 2 years to be able to do a few push-ups.

• I stink, at least I think I stink. 9/10 times your sports bra smells like shit because they’re made with polyester. Polyesters absorb odour.

• Forget about post-workout glows. In normal circumstances, if you pushed hard enough, you look like a crazy woman with crazy hair with crazy sweats.

• You don’t always see progress. Yes you eventually will hit a plateau.

Has anyone told me I’m crazy to be so addicted to working out?

Yes, of course! But I also like to think that these people don’t really have a passion in life. Because if they do, they naturally can relate how passion feels. It doesn’t matter whether I’m addicted to skydiving, swimming, or running. This is my passion and if you can’t relate to what that feels like, it’s your problem. #Getalife.

What happened before Crossfit?

Now I know as soon as I talk about Crossfit people automatically switch off, so I’m not going into that. Before Crossfit, thanks to Blogilates I have done her workout for months in the gym (in that empty classroom). Then, I realise it stops giving me results. So I switched to BBG by Kayla Itsines. I did that for maybe 1 year before Emi took me to a Crossfit gym.

Finally

What has this fitness journey brought me?

• A Personal Trainer license - because PTs are so expensive in gyms so I decided to become one to teach myself. LOL

• Done is better than perfect.

• Look at your health holistically - because everybody can push in a workout, but why do some push ‘less’ than the others? Not that they don’t want to push, but sometimes because they simply can’t. The more you want to improve, the more you start to look at your rest schedules, food intake, muscle recovery, etc.

• Be patient and grind through. Just do one step at a time. Focus on your next rep, and the rep after the next, and the rep after….

And of course it has brought me my nice toned arms 😁 (what about nice butt? getting there!!!)

✨✨✨I can't sign off without giving a big shoutout to all the lovely people I’ve met in Fitness Academy. Thank you for accompanying me through my ups and downs!!

Happy exercising ♥️, xoxo